It was inevitable, the temptation became too much and the Noble Hamish Macbeth gave in to his dark desires.
Last Thursday, shortly after The Lords of Dominos delivered their precious offering to our home and it was placed on the kitchen counter so that we may all reflect on the majesty that only a deep dish mushroom pizza with a buttery crusty holds the Devil whispered in Hamish Macbeth’s ear and Hamish fell from grace.
Hamish waited until the room was clear and then as if he had sprouted wings he surfed up to the realm of “Get down from there ” and clamped in his jaws down on the object his joy and desire and then, now wingless he fell to earth in more ways then one.
The box as if it being blown open from the hottest breath of wind from Hades itself, opened slowly before him and he devoured all but one slice of Pizza, which he stepped on after I pried it out of his jaws.
I fell to my knees and wept, ” Seriosly Hamish? The entire thing?”
It smelled liked cilantro and regret.
But Hamish saw the error of his ways after being told sternly ‘ That was a mean thing you did Hamish. It was bad. Really bad. See if I order in pizza anytime soon”
The words touched Hamish’s tummy and he knew grief and despair in that moment and he set out to make amends.
Hamish Macbeth is now known as Brother Hamish Macbeth from the Order of The Counter Surfing Labradors. The Brothers of this order were all counter surfing Pizza Thieves in their previous lives but have now devoted their Lives to being Good Boys WHO STAY OFF OF COUNTERS AND DON’T STEAL ENTIRE PIZZAS.
They only ask for meager slices of pizza crust, which they promise not to enjoy. If you give them a slice though they promise to reflect on their previous wicked ways with each bite they take.