DAILY PROMPT
Un/Faithful
I gave up praying a couple of years ago.
I stopped praying for strength and mercy, to know the right path to walk.
I stopped praying the day I had to have my dog put to sleep- if God or the Devil couldn’t be bothered to show her mercy or to do a deal to save her life, I didn’t stand a chance of having my prayers answered.
So I don’t pray.
I believe, but I don’t pray.
What’s the point?
Nobody is listening.
The universe demands balance, the human spirit demands balance human nature sticks it’s thumb on the scale and pushes it down in it’s own favor all of the time.
I’d like to do that every once and awhile- just cheat, lie and betray who ever I have to in order to get what I want- to tip those scales in my own favor.
Then I’ll run to church and thank God for answering my prayers, and I’d beg for forgiveness for not recognizing his power in the past and to promise to be a better person from now on.
I guess I do have faith, I have faith that the world is hard, it’s not fair and it has teeth and claws and will rip you apart chunk by bloody chunk.
In this I believe, this I know to be true.
Amen.
this is very moving… I too was conflicted with faith at an early age of being wronged. My father died of brain cancer when i was 8 and after that it seemed as if god was more of a force of nature more then a savior. The idea of god keeps most people sane knowing there is a method to the madness… I envy those who can put there trust in a higher being. very nice post…
I do like your thought that God is a force of nature- it makes it a little easier to understand the random acts of pain and loss that happen to us.
I feel you! And second you!
I guess if we thank God when things go well we have to acknowledge his role when things go bad. Personally I just believe in the divine spark – life force or whatever one like to call the thing that animates us. At least I know it is with me until I draw my last breath.
Very wise words Heather, thank you.