I’ve been through a lot of storms- I know, haven’t we all?
Haven’t we all taken one from a blunt object right between the eyes, got stuck in the back with more than a few knives?
And as our eyes turn black and we try to find a way to gracefully pull those daggers out ( oh sure, it hurts but life goes one and I’m okay you’re okay, blah, blah, blah ) when does that moment of clarity hit us in waves of peace and joy?
When does the air fill with the scent of sandalwood and patchouli?
When is that moment when do the clouds part, the line shines down upon us, the door swings open and we just know we’re going to be okay, in fact better than okay?
Well if anyone knows, I’d sure like to know the answer and so help me- if it involves something on a Facebook meme or you sat in a circle somewhere and shared your way to a ‘better place’ I might not be ready for that story or that particular message.
Come to think of it, I never have been ready for that sort of thing.
When I hear those sorts of missives, I feel like I just woke up one morning to find I have two heads and neither one of them knows what the hell is going on.
When things go wrong, horribly, catastrophically bad I have never in my life known in the midst of it all knew that things were going to be okay.
My reality is that I just stand there in the middle of the storm and say to myself, ” Oh. Great. Now what is going to happen to me? Flying Monkeys with Rabies? Demonic Possession? Gamma Ray Strike? What? What the Hell is next?”
And do you know what happens?
Something a hundred times worse.
Something far more horrible than anything I could have ever imagined, and as a writer I can imagine some pretty awful things.
I have never suddenly knew that things are going to be okay.
It seems like the days just suck less as they wear on, I don’t smile as much, I don’t laugh as much.
Eventually the regular days start to roll in, then the laughing and the smiling comes back a little at a time. Sometimes I take it all and I write about it ( what’s that saying about not screwing with someone who buys ink by the barrel).
But for the most part I’ll be eating a cupcake or a slice of pizza and I’ll start to reflect on what’s been happening in my life
I laugh because whatever tried to get me, didn’t kill me even though it tried like Hell.
I lived through it.